Why not wait for the exit interview
By the time of an exit interview, the decision has been made. The employee has a new job, wants to leave on good terms and often says no more than necessary. At best you hear what went wrong, but you can no longer fix it for this person.
A stay interview is a short, planned conversation with an employee you want to keep. The aim is not to assess, but to understand: what works well, what drains energy and what would make someone hesitate. In hospitality, where experienced reception, kitchen and housekeeping staff can quickly find work elsewhere, that early signal is especially valuable.
When and with whom
• With whom: start with the people you can least afford to lose: experienced staff, employees with key skills or languages, and people who train others.
• Who holds it: ideally the direct manager, because they can change the most. Human resources can look after the questions and the follow-up.
• When: once or twice a year per employee, plus an extra one after the first three months, after a hard peak season or after a major change in the team or schedule.
• How long: twenty to thirty minutes, during working hours, at a quiet moment and not between two shifts at the front desk.
• Separate from appraisal: keep it apart from the performance review and pay negotiations, otherwise it becomes a conversation in which everyone is careful.
Five questions that work
• What do you look forward to when you come to work?
• What makes a shift hard or frustrating for you?
• If you were thinking about leaving tomorrow, what would the reason be?
• What would you like to learn or do differently in the coming year?
• What can I as your manager do to make your work easier?
Above all, listen, summarise what you hear and ask for concrete examples. An answer like “the schedule” only becomes useful once you know whether it is about late changes, split shifts, too few fixed days off or something else.
What to do with the answers
• Choose one or two actions: do not promise everything. Pick what is within your influence, such as a fixed day off, fewer short-notice schedule changes, a training course or a different division of tasks.
• Agree a timeframe: say when you will come back to what was discussed, and do so.
• Be honest about what is not possible: a clear “that will not work this season, and this is why” is better than a vague promise that never happens.
• Look for patterns: if several employees mention the same thing, such as weekend understaffing or unclear planning, it is a team problem rather than an individual one.
• Keep a short record: note the main points and agreements, so a new manager does not have to start from scratch.
Pitfalls
• No follow-up: a stay interview without visible action does more harm than no conversation, because it shows that asking achieves nothing.
• Only when in doubt: holding conversations only when someone already seems unhappy misses the quiet leavers who never complain.
• Reacting defensively: explaining why something is the way it is feels to the employee like not being heard. Listen first, explain later.
• Making it too big: a long questionnaire or formal report puts people off. Keep it short and personal.
• Skipping peak season: right after a busy season is when people are most inclined to look around. Plan the conversations straight after it.
Checklist for general managers, human resources and department heads
• Do you know which employees you can least afford to lose?
• Is it agreed per employee who holds the stay interview and when?
• Is the conversation separate from appraisal and pay?
• Do you use a fixed, short set of questions?
• After each conversation, do you choose one or two concrete actions with a timeframe?
• Do you demonstrably come back to what was discussed?
• Do you look for recurring patterns per department?
• Do you plan extra conversations after the induction period and after peak season?
When AXXAZ Hospitality helps
AXXAZ Hospitality places reliable hospitality professionals with hotels across Europe, including when you need to absorb a departure or temporarily relieve your permanent team so the pressure does not keep building. A clear staffing brief (period, hours, shifts, languages, start date) helps whether you recruit in-house or book through a partner. Get in touch if you would like a placement or a brief for an open role.
In one sentence
Hold a short stay interview once or twice a year with the employees you can least afford to lose, separate from appraisal and pay, ask what keeps them and what would make them leave, and then visibly pick one or two actions with a timeframe, so you prevent departures instead of only hearing about them in the exit interview.
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